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Okay, I feel as if I have been neglecting this blog...hell, who am I kidding...I fucking ditched this shit! Point is, I update my tumblr wayyyyy more often then I even think about this blog, so follow me on tumblr guys!!!
stickthinbeauty.tumblr.com

I'm back, & Down 9!

So, last week, after going through 'recovery' i decided that i will no longer be a fat ass, therefore i started my own restriction diet. 6 days later, I’m down 9 pounds since I started on my journey to bones once again. Today was origionally ment to be a fasting day, but my mom has decided to drag me out to schlotsky’s. I have no idea what I’m going to do! Bottled water for sure…speaking of, before we leave, I’m going to chug like 5 glasses so I won’t be hungry. I’m thinking Ill just get the chicken noodle soup, which is 90 cals for a cup and 135 for a bowl…but if she makes me eat more (which she probably will try to, I’ll either eat the Caesar salad, to make it look like a lot but it’s really only 103 cals, or a small smoked turkey sandwich (355) and pretend to eat my chips. I know for sure, she will try to change my order if i get something obviously low in cals. I’m down nine pounds in 6 days, I’m not about to let her ruin that for me. Not this time.

-Autumn

Some Refreshing Thinspo!!!

Nothing Can Stop Me Now!

I'm finally back! I've really been MIA lately; but all is well now...I feel as if I've neglected what's really important to me..all due to doctors visits! But I assure you...I am fully devoted to being skinny!
Today..I've had a small orange & a cup of green tea...it's 2:30pm..& I'm going to be in the car the rest of the day..so no temptations for me!
   

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Don't let today's moment forsake tomorrow's dream!

Xoxo
-Summer
<3

Dying To Be Thin! (Literally!)

Kay...so I haven't posted in a while...a long while |:

But that is obviously changing!!(:

I have some good news...but unfortunately some bad news also..

What is this news I speak of you ask?

Well...the good news is..I've lost about 30 pounds!! :D &I'm still losing!

..the bad news..

I was forced to the doctor's office today and was told i have hypoglycemia& now i have to go see a nutritionist..let me start from the beginning..

Monday morning I joined my mother for brunch and had a salad with no dressing(210). Then i went back to her work..about an hour later i wasn't feeling to well...and I was seeing spots..So my mom took me home and i slept the rest of the day(minus puking once). Tuesday morning i woke up and went to school because I thought I was feeling better..I was wrong...ssssooo wrongg. I don't even remember my morning..the only reason i know what happened was because my Algebra teacher caught me later in the day and told me what happened..apparently I stood up in class and just sat there..& I looked like I was going to pass out.

Today; I went to the doctor and they poked 3 times before they finally got my blood sugar level..a normal bsl for someone my age ranges from 70 to 150-- my bsl was 41..I was told I have hypoglycemia& now I am forced to eat a protein bar every 2 hours between meals and I have to see a nutritionist...which means skinny..has been prolonged :(   But I will make it! Even if I have to die trying!!

 Nothing taste as good as thin feels! Don't let today's moment forsake tomorrow's dream!

Xoxo

-Summer

Shame!

So...I started the ABC diet yesterday with my amazing Ana buddy Maddie!(:
So far so good! A while ago my mom tried to feed me a banana cupcake with a mound of cream cheese frosting on top! There was no way I was going to put that in my mouth! That's 247 calories! More than my limit for the day!
She can be a fat ass if she wants but I have control!
Total for today:
Water = 0!
& I went mountain biking today!(:
No calorie intake and 7 miles of mountain biking!
I'm doing pretty good so far...later I'm going to go jog around 4 miles!(:

Nothing taste as good as thin feels! Don't let today's moment forsake tomorrow's dream!

Stay Strong! Think Thin!
Xoxo
-Summer(:

My Lowest Ever!

86 lbs.

Letters From Ana

Allow me to introduce myself. My name, or as I am called by so called "doctors," is Anorexia. Anorexia Nervosa is my full name, but you may call me Ana. Hopefully we can become great partners. In the coming time, I will invest a lot of time in you, and I expect the same from you.

In the past you have heard all of your teachers and parents talk about you. You are "so mature," "intelligent," "14 going on 45," and you possess "so much potential." Where has that gotten you, may I ask? Absolutely nowhere! You are not perfect, you do not try hard enough, furthermore you waste your time on thinking and talking with friends and drawing! Such acts of indulgence shall not be allowed in the future.

Your friends do not understand you. They are not truthful. In the past, when the insecurity has quietly gnawed away at your mind, and you asked them, "Do I look . . . fat?" and they answered "Oh no, of course not," you knew they were lying! Only I tell the truth. Your parents, let's not even go there! You know that they love you, and care for you, but part of that is just that they are your parents and are obligated to do so. I shall tell you a secret now: Deep down inside themselves, they are disappointed with you. Their daughter, the one with so much potential, has turned into a fat, lazy, and undeserving girl.

But I am about to change all that. I will expect you to drop your calorie intake and up your exercise. I will push you to the limit. You must take it because you cannot defy me! I am beginning to imbed myself into you. Pretty soon, I am with you always. I am there when you wake up in the morning and run to the scale. The numbers become both friend and enemy, and the frenzied thoughts pray for them to be lower than yesterday, last night, etc. You look into the mirror with dismay. You prod and poke at the fat that is there, and smile when you come across bone. I am there when you figure out the plan for the day: 400 calories, two hours exercise. I am the one figuring this out, because by now my thoughts and your thoughts are blurred together as one. I follow you throughout the day. In school, when your mind wanders I give you something to think about. Recount the calories for the day. It's too much. I fill your mind with thoughts of food, weight, calories, and things that are safe to think about. Because now, I am already inside of you. I am in your head, your heart, and your soul. The hunger pains you pretend not to feel is me, inside of you.

Pretty soon I am telling you not only what to do with food, but what to do ALL of the time. Smile and nod. Present yourself well. Suck in that fat stomach, dammit! God, you are such a fat cow!!!! When mealtimes come around I tell you what to do. I make a plate of lettuce seem like a feast fit for a king. Push the food around. Make it look like you've eaten something. No piece of anything . . . if you eat, all the control will be broken . . . do you WANT that?? To revert back to the fat COW you once were?? I force you to stare at magazine models. Those perfect-skinned, white-teethed, waifish models of perfection staring out at you from those glossy pages. I make you realize that you could never be them. You will always be fat and never will you be as beautiful as they are. When you look in the mirror, I will distort the image. I will show you obesity and hideousness. I will show you a sumo wrestler where in reality there is a starving child. But you must not know this, because if you knew the truth, you might start to eat again and our relationship would come crashing down.

Sometimes you will rebel. Hopefully not often though. You will recognize the small rebellious fiber left in your body and will venture down to the dark kitchen. The cupboard door will slowly open, creaking softly. Your eyes will move over the food that I have kept at a safe distance from you. You will find your hands reaching out, lethargically, like a nightmare, through the darkness to the box of crackers. You shove them in, mechanically, not really tasting but simply relishing in the fact that you are going against me. You reach for another box, then another, then another. Your stomach will become bloated and grotesque, but you will not stop yet. And all the time I am screaming at you to stop, you fat cow, you really have no self-control, you are going to get fat.

When it is over you will cling to me again, ask me for advice because you really do not want to get fat. You broke a cardinal rule and ate, and now you want me back. I'll force you into the bathroom, onto your knees, staring into the void of the toilet bowl. Your fingers will be inserted into your throat, and, not without a great deal of pain, your food binge will come up. Over and over this is to be repeated, until you spit up blood and water and you know it is all gone. When you stand up, you will feel dizzy. Don't pass out. Stand up right now. You fat cow, you deserve to be in pain! Maybe the choice of getting rid of the guilt is different. Maybe I chose to make you take laxatives, where you sit on the toilet until the wee hours of the morning, feeling your insides cringe. Or perhaps I just make you hurt yourself, bang your head into the wall until you receive a throbbing headache. Cutting is also effective. I want you to see your blood, to see it fall down your arm, and in that split second you will realize you deserve whatever pain I give you. You are depressed, obsessed, in pain, hurting, reaching out, but no one will listen. Who cares?!?!! You are deserving; you brought this upon yourself.

Oh, is this harsh? Do you not want this to happen to you? Am I unfair? I do do things that will help you. I make it possible for you to stop thinking of emotions that cause you stress. Thoughts of anger, sadness, desperation, and loneliness can cease because I take them away and fill your head with the methodic calorie counting. I take away your struggle to fit in with kids your age, the struggle of trying to please everyone as well. Because now, I am your only friend, and I am the only one you need to please.

I have a weak spot. But we must not tell anyone. If you decide to fight back, to reach out to someone and tell them about how I make you live, all hell will break lose. No one must find out, no one can crack this shell that I have covered you with. I have created you, this thin, perfect, achieving child. You are mine and mine alone. Without me, you are nothing. So do not fight back. When others comment, ignore them. Take it into stride, forget about them, forget about everyone who tries to take me away. I am your greatest asset, and I intend to keep it that way.

I'm Not Telling You It's Going To Be Easy...I'm Telling You It's Going To Be Worth It! 

Sincerely,

Ana

Thinspo!!

Nothing taste as good as thin feels! Don't let today's moment forsake tomorrow's dream!

Xoxo

-Summer(:

Nothing Taste As Good As Thin Feels

So..went to a birthday party with my younger siblings & I walked in the door absolutely determined not to eat! What happened? I was pressured into eating!
I know :| my will power crumbled..now their passing out a giant cookie and I'll probably end up eating that too; gosh..I'm such a fatass! I've decided I'm fasting tomorrow and then I'm going to start the ABC diet the day after!

Nothing taste as good as thin feels. Don't let today's moment forsake tomorrow's dream!

Xoxo
-Summer.